JOHN

its been one year and a half
Its kind of very hard still for me to understand him. Maybe its because he never opens himself to me.
In many times, he told me about how he feels to me
he told me, that I could not imagine how much he felt without me on his side
he could not imagine how much emptyness i feel without him
i am now feeling dissapointed to him because he is dissappearing

ARSA SOK IMUT

christmas three

Christmas three o christmas three

anger

here is my agony
my fighting anger on my mind and my heart
Does he ever care about me
whats going on with me
believe me, its no use if he does not tell me
I am not a mind reader
yes, trust is needed in such a relationship
but one other thing needed
communication
It won't work without it
you know John?
if you love someone, tell her/him you love him
show it to her/him
how?
discuss what's going on in your life
tell her if you are afraid
tell her if you angry about something
tell her if you feel happy or joyful
let her talk about whats going on
what she's afraid of
this girl is not a super woman
this girl needs you very much
this girl is currently angry to you because she feels that you do not care about you
this girl is now facing a hard moment
she needs you to share her worriness
she needs you a lot
if its not you..who else?

a pray without a hope

Dear Lord
I could not find a way to talk to you in a descent manner
I try to reach you everywhere
in every corner of my heart
between my cell tissue
and my heart beats
Lord, its hard for me praying without asking
I would try my best doing this pray without ask a single hope
Just to empty my chest from all the pain
agony
doubt
sorrow
because I know You hear
my 20th day before christmas
I am loosing perspective of my life
I love this man very much
he said he loves me but he does not care about me
if he does, he does not want to make an effort of contacting me
its hurt
its hurt to see my mail box empty
no reply from him
i just wanna a very simple thing like cindy hi hello how are u
but he never cares about that